what the hell what the hell what the hell what the hell is going on? i feel so empty. life isnt woth living for hell. i dont get it why. why, why! i am tired of this i really am. help me pls. i just feel that i can just jump down and die right now.
left;
4:00 PM
Monday, August 13, 2007 10:05 PM
thank you so much for being here. really. you are my best friend and great buddy. please dont leave me. lets have this friendship till the end of time. you mean alot to me. and i will cherish this. if it werent for you being my great buddy, i have already done stupid thing. ppl might just be moarning over my death than celebrating my birthday that is coming up. i have attempted suicide before. many times. i feel that life is not woth living for. is too complex for me. but i have you. being my buddy. if not i maybe beyond hope. i may have even lost the will. thanks for being here and help me and letting me continue day by day step by step. thanks. as i am typing this.. tears roll down my face. i hope that we'll be true to one another. thanks for your presence. thank you.
you;re my best friend, my best of all friend. you are my buddy. i hope it stays this way. thank you for all. thank you! (:
no matter what life throws at me, i will take it step by step to overcome it! at least i will try.
left;
10:05 PM
Saturday, August 11, 2007 3:34 AM
thank you so much! thanks! i hope you are my perfect soul mate. why? well. cuase you have helped me alot. when i did company and companion, you were here. when i need comfort.. you extended your arm for me. thanks thank you. i love you so much my dearest friend. i hope our friendship will last fovever. i will never forget on what you have done for me. thank you. thanks for a special national day and 10/08,11/08 thanks alot!
from the rising of the sun, i think of you. till the setting of the sun, i still think of you. the thought of you is always with me i love you so much dearest dear friend. you have touched me. i promise and i vow that i will be with you forever. i will not leave you in times of trouble. i will be by your side.
thank you for all. i am grateful for your doing. as well as your cares. thank you.
you brighten up my day and put a smile on my face. =)
i love you my dd. hoping we;ll have a great friendship ahead!
(:
left;
3:34 AM
Wednesday, August 8, 2007 5:35 PM
how can you do this to me? we have already broken contact. not talked in months. i didnt hurt you or anything in anyway.
why are you so wicked? why are you so evil? why are you so heartless? why are you so inhumane?
are you a son of God? are you a Christian? are you a human?
do you consider other ppl feeling? do you think of the time when you had that kind of feeling when this sort of things happen? do you have feelings?
WHY WHY WHY TELL ME WHY! I NEED A GOOD REASON! WHY WHY WHY
i dont understand. i dont even have contact with you anymore.
i didnt even do anything to hurt you. i didnt even expect anything from you. why must you be like this? i know you hate me and all. but you can just come to my face and do whatever you want. why must you do such things? i dont understand.
do you even know how i feel? do you know how much hurt you have caused? do you know that you hurt me both phycically and metally? do you know that it really pains me? must you really do this?
must you take my pain, hurt, sufferings and sadness as you own personal joy and pleasure? must you really do that?
what the hell have i done? i have never hurt you.
in fact, i have help you and come to your aid when you needed refuge. in the end? what the hell do i get? fine you hate me. i dont mind. i dont give a care. but why cant you just leave me alone? is that so diff to ask? is it really a breathe taking thing to do?
must you really go all out to kill someone? esp his feeling? are you really that inhumane?
you will get your retribution. you still dare to call yourself a christian. what a disgrace.
does christainity teach you to be inhumane? reject ppl? make others hurt both physically and mentally and use that as your personsal joy and pleasure? if is so. i rest my case. i take my hats off you.
i am happy and high above anything. must you really do this? thanks alot if this is a thing you are giving me for an advance birthday.
i cant believe it. i really cant. why am i being treated this way? must you really even do this?
you have grudes against me. come to my face straight. you dont have to turn others against me too. are you even a man? do you even have balls to face things by your own?
you think that i am gay? well i am telling you i am not. i just treat freinds really nice. and i love them. whats wrong with that? are you sick in your mind or something? i dont even do obscene things and i do decent thing that i am not afraid of letting ppl know. and i do them publicly too.
if thats what you wanna. i cant do anything. wait. i dont plan to do anything in the first place. you dont even let me in your life. fine be that way.
left;
5:35 PM
eh. i havent blog since may 26th. well here one (: 8/8/2007. its national day eve (: well lets see. things have been rocky as usual. sadly. but well. from monday till now i am been pretty happy (: so yeah. its a good thing. and whats new? hmm maybe should say i have a girlfriend (: and a new friend (: well. this two are great (: and i promise (: i will never ever leave you no matter what! :D
hmm. now lets see. suddenly this matter pop in to my head again. and the best thing i thot was just to rumble it here (:
well. this person whom i was used to be close with seprated due to misunderstandings and lame stuff la. and well. i feel that if you dont like someone keep it to yourslef if you dont wanna have anything to do woth that person la. i mean. dont go round wreaking is friendship and relations with ppl la. i mean everyone knows how rejection feels like. this guy has no exception too. cause he was being rejected from girls like hell la. so ya i feel that if you hated a person real badly.. go kill him or whatever. but dont hurt him by removing his poles(friends). and moreover. being a christian himself.. shouldnt he set and example? unless he is proving that he is a propaganda. i hae nothing to say.
well. i rest my case (:
left;
1:40 PM
Saturday, May 26, 2007 11:41 PM
long time no talk here. well lets. life have been rocky. so yeah. results was BAD! really terrible la.
last week. 18th to 20th may (: i love it (: had RME retreat. omg. the guys there was great. i love the camp (: enjoyed myself many memrious is still in my mind haha i had a sexy welcome to sji. well guys. thanks! i love it :D do it again along the corridor of 323,324,325,326 haha GO MSJI ! ((: :D
ok. then the past few daes nth much heh. so yeahhhh. expect i had sometime with someone. omg, thanks for the time. cya in school and LLTC (: haha!
ok now is abt 11.38pm i leaving for china soon. will be there at 6.30am. then will be back on the 8th but i have con camp )): hmm i miss you guys here la but nvm! chris! tim! thanks for your cries and walk back to my home (:
leaving behing here daling zhong xi ): and friends! )))))))))))))))))))))))): take care guys. please do behave! cya! ((:
lets see. todat is monday. well lets talk abt sunday first (: well sunday! as usual. i go to chruch. thanks bryan and chris (: ahah you guys rocks. for without you guys, it will freaking boring! and and charmaine thanks for the sweets. haha later on, went mass. well. mass was ok. pretty what i expected. cant pay attention and all. haha so ya. is ok. well at least i know was wrong la. was distracted all all. but what to do? we all sec 3 there! haha i tell you guys! we own (:
ok then later came home was tired. so i slept. ah ya. hmmm ok so later i woke up (:
went to chruch of Saint Joseph to celebrate the feast day! hmm was kinda cool! well. pround to be there as part of my chruch visting mission (: haha ok. now a lil quick check on my chruch visting mission.
City District Cathedral of the Good Shepherd - 'A' Queen Street (went) Church of Ss Peter and Paul - 225A Queen Street Church of Our Lady of Lourdes - 50 Ophir Road (went) St Joseph's Church - 143 Victoria Street (went) Church of St Bernadette - 12 Zion Road Church of St Michael - 17 St Michael's Road (went) Church of St Teresa - 510 Kampong Bahru Road Church of the Sacred Heart - 111 Tank Road Novena Church - 300 Thomson Road (went)
East District Church of the Holy Family - 6 Chapel Road (went) Church of the Holy Trinity - 20 Tampines Street 11 Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Succour - 31 Siglap Hill (went) Church of Our Lady Queen of Peace - 4 Sandy Lane Church of St Stephen - 30 Sallim Road
West District Blessed Sacrament Church - 1 Commonwealth Drive Church of St Francis of Assisi - 200 Boon Lay Avenue Church of St Ignatius - 120 King's Road Church of St Mary of the Angels - 5 Bukit Batok East Avenue 2 Church of the Holy Cross - 450 Clementi Avenue 1
North District Church of Christ the King - 2221 Ang Mo Kio Avenue 8 Church of Our Lady Star of the Sea - 10 Yishun Street 22 (ex parich then i was a baby) Church of St Anthony - 25 Woodlands Avenue 1 (between Blk 331 and 335)(went) Church of the Holy Spirit - 248 Upper Thomson Road (went) Church of St Joseph - 620 Upper Bukit Timah Road 15km (went) Church of the Risen Christ - 91 Toa Payoh Central (went)
Serangoon District Church of St Francis Xavier - 63A Chartwell Drive (went) Church of St Vincent de Paul - 301 Yio Chu Kang Road (went) Church of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary - 1259 Upper Serangoon Road (ex parish) Immaculate Heart of Mary Church - 24 Highland Road (current parish) St Anne's Church - 66 Sengkang East Way
haha. so its abt 15 church le ba (: haha
now. today. monday. well. IT SUCKS! had ta2. well. 2 papers down. 3 to go. tomorrow chem and add math. i dont know what my result will be i am sure it will be bad. no sweat. today i am actually VERY PISSED! & right now i am having headache. really dont know what to do.
ppl says everyday will be a better then yesterday. well. MY FOOT! i am still seeing when can i die! life really suck! (BIG TIME)
